with your own penis?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
