Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
