i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
