I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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