I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
