margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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