dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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