we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
