The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
