I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
