I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize