whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The ass gains better be worth it
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