Who did Billy Mays play for?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
