oh god the rape fog is back!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Text me some of your sweat
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
