Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
