I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
