So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
