As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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