8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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