I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
