Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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