I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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