I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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