At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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