Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
