chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
