Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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