I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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