fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
