she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
