we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
