If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
