can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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