Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
