Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
