so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize