she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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