he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
