Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
