Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
