Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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