I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
