I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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