her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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