So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
