Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
