im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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