did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
