I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
