He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
