Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
