Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to calm my uterus...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
