I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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