If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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