she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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