erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
