In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
