Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
