Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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